My friend Jayne sent me a joke about monkeys.  Spank liked it so much that we though we needed a page for monkey jokes.  If you have any others then let me know.
A man has to deliver a group of monkeys to Chester Zoo. On the way there his van, which is full of monkeys, breaks down.

He calls the AA for help. After two hours he is still waiting.

So when he sees a van coming in his direction he flags the driver down and says to him:

"Listen I'll give you a hundred quid if you'll take these monkeys to Chester Zoo!"

"Alright!" says the driver and the man loads the monkeys into the van, takes the money and sets off.

After another couple of hours, still no sign of the AA, but the man sees a van coming in his direction with a load of monkeys sitting on the top of it.

He recognises the van and flags down the driver once more.

"Hey, I thought I gave you a hundred quid to take these monkeys to the zoo!" he says.

The driver replies, "Well, I did and they had a great time, now I'm taking them to Alton Towers!"
 

Here is another one from Jayne.  Amazingly she has amanged to combine jokes about monkies and bottoms.  Well done Jayne.

A man walked into a bar with his pet monkey.

The bartender said, "You can't bring that monkey in here!" The man replied, "Don't worry, he won't cause any trouble."

Within seconds the monkey jumped on the pool table and swallowed the cue ball. The bartender yelled, "Hey, he just ate my cue ball. No one can play pool anymore! Get out!" So the monkey and the man left.

The man left but came back one week later with his monkey. He apologized to the bartender and promised no more trouble. The bartender let him and the monkey stay.

Later that night, the monkey walked over to a bowl of grapes, put one in his ass, and then ate it. The bartender said, "That's disgusting! Why did he do that!"

The man said, "Since he swallowed the cue ball, he sizes everything up before he eats it."



For more jokes see 'What a bummer!'